Giving practical tips and encouragement to mommies of girls
A Game PlanNovember 2016
- Monitor their cell phones, tablets, Facebook, etc. No need to allow these items in their rooms at night.
- Train your child to tell the truth always — even when it could have consequences. (Be smart enough to not over react to the truth that your child has bravely expressed. This builds confidence that honesty truly is the best policy. Truth can actually become a habit!!!!)
- Train your daughter to choose her words wisely; to think before she speaks and if the word she is about to say will hurt someone- to choose not to speak them. Unless, of course, she feels she must. Even self-respect in self-talk should be trained. If she is not allowed to disrespect herself, she will be less likely to allow others to disrespect her.
- Give your daughter the gift of understanding that there is a Supreme Being who will hold us all accountable for our behavior. That He sees us when we are good and bad. That HE loves us unconditionally but that there are consequences to our behavior. (Much of this lesson is taught by being a parent who is very alert to their child’s behavior and you offers unconditional love and consistent consequences.)
- Pray that you can help guide your daughter into a self-respect that comes from knowing that she is made in the very image of her God. What a huge gift we can give our children!!! To give them a bit of this self-concept as stated by C.S. Lewis: “I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been born in God’s thought and then made by God is the dearest, grandest and most precious thing in all thinking.”
- Teach your daughter to guard her heart and how to recognize “safe people”. (see Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend)
- Encourage your daughter to talk with you about all things. Literally, all things. Pray and give wise advice that you feel is consistent with the Bible. This means seeking God over things like this. Turning the other cheek may be appropriate at times. At other times, courage to say “no” is needed. Sometimes authorities need to be brought into the situation. All of these are consistent with Biblical principles. Whereas, an eye for an eye is no longer appropriate.
- Instill in your daughter the ability to recognize when someone treats her with disrespect and give her “permission” to change that situation through appropriate actions, like those mentioned above, or by leaving the situation or asking for help.
- Give your daughter the courage to stand up for others if she can do so safely.
- Give your daughter the freedom to know that asking for help is still a courageous way to act in many bullying situations.
- Build habits of positive words. Negative joking was out-lawed at our house. That reduces sarcasm and flaw-seeking for jokes.
- Help you daughter learn how to forgive with boundaries.